Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
