Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize