Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize