hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
