she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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