he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A+ Viking dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
