Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize