New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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