Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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