The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
