so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
