We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
