so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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