You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize