I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
