everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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