Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
