Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
