i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
