the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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