i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
