ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
