if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
