there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
