it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
