He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize