he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
