Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
