You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
