I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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