Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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