Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
