i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
