So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
