seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
