the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
