He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
