Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize