she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
