I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
