what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
