plz talk dirty to me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
