Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
