i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize