the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
