sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
