i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
