ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you win again, gameday.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
