Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
