end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
