I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
