I am puke
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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