I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
