i jhust puked up my retainher.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
