they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize