I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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