I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My pussy is not your playground.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
