Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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