I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
