I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
