Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I could make wine with my vomit
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
