apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
